Kerala trip in pictures

We have reached Calicut last Friday night. Unfortunately the trip was not as much fun as it should have been for S., who is only now beginning to feel better after his surgery. His brothers came only two days ago, so we have decided to stay a bit longer and return to Madras by train tomorrow night, accompanied by S.'s mother. Below are a few pictures taken this week by S.'s parents.

Siamo arrivati a Calicut venerdi' scorso. Purtroppo questa visita non e' stata molto piacevole per S., che solo ora comincia a sentirsi meglio dopo l'intervento di due settimane fa. I suoi fratelli sono arrivati solo l'altro ieri, quindi abbiamo deciso di cancellare il volo di ritorno e fermarci qualche giorno in piu'. Torneremo a Madras in treno domani notte, accompagnati dalla madre di Sujay. Qui sotto potete vedere qualche foto scattata in questi giorni.

Jaydev next to the Onam flower decoration that was made on Sunday morning.

Questo e' il mio nipotino Jaydev dietro la decorazione floreale che e' stata disposta davanti a casa domenica mattina per festeggiare Onam.

Un po' di foto di Jaydev e Rajiv.

Some pictures of Jaydev with Rajiv.

This was my first attempt at using a wrap for a back carry. I thought it would be best to try with an older child first and Jaydev kindly volunteered.

Qui sono io che trasporto Jaydev utilizzando una lunga striscia di stoffa acquistata a questo scopo. Jaydev gentilmente ha accettato di fare pratica con me prima di tentare la tecnica con Rajiv.

And below:

Rajiv with his grandmother.

E qui in basso:

Rajiv con nonna Padmini.

Onam

Ieri in Kerala si festeggiava Onam, la festivita' piu' sentita in questa parte dell'India. E' un po' come per noi il Natale: le famiglie se possibile si riuniscono e si scambiano doni, in genere vestiti. Tradizionalmente Onam coincide con il raccolto e la data dipende dal calendario lunare. Una volta era il momento dell'anno in cui venivano comprati abiti nuovi per tutta la famiglia. Probabilmente e' tuttora cosi' per molte famiglie povere, ma anche coloro che possono permettersi di fare acquisti in qualunque momento dell'anno festeggiano Onam indossando abiti nuovi e regalando abiti ai familiari, specialmente i piu' giovani. Un altro segno distintivo di questa festivita' sono le decorazioni floreali davanti all'ingresso delle case.

Onam e' anche collegato ad una leggenda indu':

La leggenda del re demone

Secondo la leggenda molto tempo fa il Kerala era governato da un re demone di nome Mahabali. Mahabali aveva esteso il suo regno ai tre mondi: la terra, il cielo e gli inferi. Era un re molto giusto e devoto agli dei, molto amato dai suoi sudditi. Gli dei pero' erano avevano paura del suo potere e chiesero a Vishnu di privarlo del suo regno. Vishnu allora si presento' a Mahabali come un brahmino nano nel giorno in cui Mahabali accoglieva le suppliche dei suoi sudditi. Il re era famoso per accogliere sempre ogni richiesta e quando venne il turno del brahmino nano gli promise qualunque cosa lui volesse. Il brahmino allora chiese di avere tutta la terra che poteva calpestare con tre passi. Mahabali a questo punto sospetto' la verita', ma acconsenti' perche' ormai aveva dato la sua parola. Il brahmino da nano divento' un gigante e con i primi due passi copri' la terra e il cielo. Poi chiese a Mahabali: "Dove mettero il mio piede adesso?". E Mahabali offri' a Vishnu la propria testa. Cosi' Mahabali venne sotterrato e relegato agli inferi, ma poiche' era un uomo coraggioso e rispettoso di Vishnu, la sua preghiera di tornare una volta l'anno dai suoi sudditi venne accolta. Onam e' il giorno in cui gli abitanti del Kerala festeggiano il ritorno del re demone Mahabali.

Piccole scoperte - Little discoveries

A few of the latest developments:

• Since a few days ago little one seems to have realized that he has extremely attractive and interesting feet (of course we already knew that). Sometimes he stares at them and tries to touch them, batting at them like he does with toys. When he manages to touch them he seems fascinated. In fact it is not clear at all whether he realizes that they are attached to his body, it is quite cute to see.
  
  Da qualche giorno il piccolino ha cominciato ad interessarsi ai suoi piedi. Li fissa, li tocca, cerca di colpirli come fa con i giocattoli, e' molto carino. Non credo che si renda conto che sono parte del suo corpo, e' un po' come un gatto che cerca di mordersi la coda - solo un po' meno difficile...
  
  
• He is acquiring better control of his hands: he is now able to pinch mommy, especially when he is hungry, and he likes to grab S.'s hair when S. leans over him.
  
  Comincia ad avere maggiore controllo dei movimenti delle proprie mani: e' capace di dare piccoli - ma efficaci - pizzicotti e gli piace afferrare i capelli di S. quando si china su di lui.
  
  
• He is beginning to smile in response to things, as opposed to just randomly. For example he smiles if we make some unexpected funny sounds and he laughs like crazy if somebody kisses his belly. This morning when we woke up at around six I put him to sit on my belly and he stayed there for some time looking at me and smiling...
  
  Il piccolino adesso risponde in modo piu' evidente alle nostre azioni. Per esempio, sorride se facciamo dei suoni inaspettati o se riceve dei baci sulla pancia. Questa mattina quando ci siamo svegliati verso le sei l'ho messo a sedere sulla mia pancia e lui e' rimasto li' per un po' a guardarmi ridacchiando...
  

Plans - Progetti

We have been spending quite a few days at home now. S. had some minor surgery done last Saturday (nothing too serious, but still not fun) and he needs to take rest, as much as it is possible with a baby in the house. He is not allowed to lift the little one, but he is still helping a lot, so things are not completely out of control, yet.

We had planned for some time to go to Calicut for a few days to spend time with S.'s family and if there are no complications we will leave tomorrow evening. Fortunately we had already decided to go by plane, so the trip should be still manageable. We will come back on Thursday to spend our last few days in Chennai and then on September 4th we will travel to Italy, stop there for another few days to see my family and then continue to Canada, where we will stay until the end of November, more or less. Just in case you happen to look at a map and wonder where we are...


Sabato scorso Sujay ha dovuto sottoporsi ad un piccolo - ma fastidioso - intervento chirurgico e adesso deve riposare il piu' possibile, quindi abbiamo passato gli ultimi giorni a casa. Se tutto va bene pero' dovremmo riuscire ad andare a Calicut domani, come avevamo programmato da tempo. E' la nostra ultima occasione per vedere tutta la famiglia di S. prima di partire e in piu' questo finesettimana coincide con una festivita' locale, quindi ci teniamo in modo particolare ad andare. Una volta tornati ci sara' essenzialmente solo il tempo di fare i bagagli e sistemare un po' di cose prima di abbandonare la casa per piu' di tre mesi. Arriveremo in Italia il 4 settembre mattina e poi il 10 proseguiremo per il Canada, dove in teoria dovrei iniziare a lavorare, Rajiv permettendo...

These first three months (a Very Long Story)

Little one is 3! Months, of course, but he has really grown up a lot since we first met him.

Rajiv was born on May 17th in Torino, Ospedale Mauriziano, at 2:29 AM. The first thing that S. told me after he was born was that he had his ears, as I had hoped. That made me quite happy. I only saw little one properly when he was brought back to us in his little baby bed wearing the red baby suit we had given. He had his eyes wide open and looked very aware and a bit intimidating. Of course he wasn't aware at all and he couldn't see a thing, but the impression was there anyway. He was also very cute, I didn't expect him to be so cute just after birth.

We were separated almost immediately and we met again at around 5:00, when the babies are usually brought back to the moms after the night. Giving birth is very disorienting and seeing your baby on a schedule doesn't make things easier at all, so I was looking forward to going home soon, so that we could get to know each other. Unfortunately Rajiv had high levels of bilirubin and had to stay in the hospital for a few days for phototherapy. It just means that the baby spends many hours exposed to a lamp, but it was quite unpleasant for me and S. because it meant that we could see our baby even less and we were getting very frustrated. So we were very happy and relieved when on the sixth day we were allowed to take him home.

The first day at home was marked by fruitless attempts to quench the thirst of the little monster, I mean, the little bundle of joy. I didn't have milk yet, so we were alternating attempts of feeding at the breast and larger and larger quantities of formula. Rajiv only slept for a few hours when we took him to see his grandparents and especially his aunt Francesca, who had not met him yet. She was surprised to see how small he was and showed him to Nero, Piccolina and Peppino, the cat formerly known as Kichu. When we returned home the little one resumed his expressions of discontent and cried until 3:00 AM. During this time his dad's favorite phrases where "He can't possibly still be hungry" and "I don't like this greedy side of his personality". But eventually it was over and we all slept until morning - one of only two times so far that I was able to sleep for five consecutive hours.

During the next days we practiced feeding at the breast, which proved to be harder than I had expected. Little one seemed to think the milk was going to come out from my elbow and it took every sort of tricks to get him to face the right direction. Still, within a few days we managed to stop giving formula supplements. At that point little one was eating every two or three hours at most, and usually more frequently during the night, but we got used to it and soon S. stopped waking up during the night so that he could be more rested and help during the day. In particular since the beginning he took over burping duties, which is a great help because our son needs to be burped almost constantly (Maybe beacuse he eats constantly? Uhm...). S. takes great pride in his burping skills, and likes to be known around the house as the Burper Supremo...

For the whole first month of his life little Rajiv couldn't bear to be put down to sleep on his own, so somebody had to hold him while he slept. At night I could only sleep if I managed to put him to sleep on my chest. When he wasn't sleeping he was usually eating or trying to eat or crying, at least until he started enjoying playing a little. The two things that saved our lives were a CD with womb-like (or factory-like, as you prefer to call it) sounds and the baby carrier. The CD would calm down Rajiv within seconds. Unfortunately the sounds are a little less pleasant for an adult ear, but fortunately we could reach a compromise playing the Rain On The Roof track of the CD, which is tolerable. However, for a really cranky baby there is no compromise and only factory sounds will work.

And the baby carrier. We tried it when Rajiv was about ten days old and he fell asleep in it instantaneously. Thanks to this wonderful discovery we were able to handle all the excess of bureaucracy that usually surrounds our lives. We could stay in line day after day at the passport office, at the health care office, at the visa office, the passport office again, and so on. We even went for half a day to Milano for the Indian Visa and Rajiv was amazingly well behaved.

(This is one of the pictures I took while trying to get a decent shot - mouth closed and eyes open - for Rajiv'e passport. The background is one of S.'s shirts spread on the bed.)

When he was two weeks old he started getting a bit more interested in small toys and we could put him down to look at toys hanging over him for a few minutes. He especially liked looking at a small mirror that is attached to his playmat and moving the mirror around. He also enjoyed his "tummy time" and was able to lift his head for a second very early. It seems that we have an athletic kid...

When Rajiv was almost one month old we moved to India. My mother came with us for the first couple of weeks to help while we were getting started with things. While she was here we also traveled to Calicut to spend some time with S.'s family and so Rajiv took his first long train trip. I kept him to sleep between me and the wall during the night, all wrapped up to fight the air-conditioning and it was not as bad an experience as I had expected - although the woman that was sharing the compartment with us must have thought it was pretty bad...

After this I started writing the blog, so you already know a bit of how little one's life developed until now. He is much bigger and taller of course, he lost part of the black hair he was born with, but some thinner brown hair is growing underneath. The jaundice has subsided and he has been generally healthy all this time, in spite of all the germs that his parents have spread around him. He doesn't try to eat from my elbow anymore: we have every sort of other small feeding problems, but he does know where the milk is now, because a few times he has attempted to lift my shirt when he was hungry. He smiles in the most charming way and seems to recognize us. The baby smile clearly carries a great evolutionary advantage, because it makes it impossible for the parents to donate the baby to the neighbours, as otherwise they might sometimes be tempted to do.

Appuntamento mensile con la pediatra

Ieri siamo andati dalla pediatra per la visita mensile. Solo due iniezioni questa volta, contemporaneamente sulle due gambe, cosi' e' stato tutto fatto in un colpo solo. Rajiv ha pianto non piu' di 30 secondi e poi ha espresso un chiaro desiderio di cibo, e' stato nutrito, gli abbiamo dato il paracetamolo e si e' addormentato nel marsupio. In questi giorni ha piu' fame del solito e forse la fame lo ha distratto dal trauma della vaccinazione.

Il peso e' 6.01 Kg, vestito. Ha preso un po' meno peso del mese scorso, ma a quanto pare e' normale che l'aumento di peso si riduca col passare dei mesi. La pediatra dice che la norma e' raggiungere un peso di circa 10 kg al primo compleanno, quindi siamo bene indirizzati.

Abbiamo anche discusso la possibilita' di introdurre qualche altra forma di nutrimento dopo i quattro mesi, tipo succhi di frutta e verdura cotta e frullata, ma la mia intenzione sarebbe di allattare esclusivamente il piccolino almeno fino ai sei mesi.

Yesterday we went for our monthly appointment with the pediatrician. It was only two injections this time, given simultaneously on the two legs, so it was less traumatic for him than last time. Also, little one is eating more than usual these days (the famous Growth Spurt?) and it seems that his focus on food distracts him from anything else.

He now weighs 6.01 Kg with clothes. He didn't gain as much as last month, but according to the pediatrician this is a normal trend. She says that the norm would be for the baby to reach a weight of about 10 Kg by his first birthday, so it seems that we are doing fine.

We also discussed the possibility of introducing next month what she calls a "weaning diet" of fruit juice and steamed and mashed fruits. However, I think I would like to postpone this to when he is six months or so and give only milk until then.

Cloth diapers (part II - technical - only for the seriously motivated)

Here is a list of the different kinds of cloth diapers that are available, in order of increasing price and supposed increasing ease of use:

• flats - also known as old-fashioned cloth diapers. These are just rectangular pieces of cloth, the more absorbent the better, that need to be folded in a particular way and pinned (although there are alternatives to diaper pins nowadays) in order to be used as nappies. A waterproof cover is also necessary, for obvious reasons (more about the covers below). I was planning to use mostly these, since it is the cheapest option, but they need to be changed very very frequently and they are not the best at containing semi-liquid material - let's not go into details here, but I'm sure you see the point.
  
  
• prefolds. This is a slightly more evolved version. They are like flats, but a more absorbent patch of cloth is sewn in the middle, so they need to be folded in a much simpler way than flats. We haven't tried these.
  
  
• contoured diapers. The next tiny step in the evolution ladder. These are still just pieces of cloth (cotton, hemp, bamboo, they start getting creative here...), but they are cut in a diaper shape so that no folding is necessary at all, although a pin or pin-like object is still required to fasten them. Haven't tried these either.
  
  
• fitted diapers. These we have tried. They look like disposable diapers, with velcro tabs or snaps instead of the adhesive fasteners. I thought it wouldn't be worth spending money on these, but some models are definitely better than old-fashioned flat diapers at containing stuff - especially crucial for small babies who only drink milk. A cover is still required, but it doesn't get dirty as easily, so it can be used through many diaper changes before it is washed. In the grainy and out of focus picture above you can see little one in his orange Kissaluvs fitted diapers (the names of the diapers are one of the joys of cloth diapering...) - the cover was removed for the picture.
  
  
• pocket diapers. Here the cover is already part of the diaper. The outer part of the diaper feels like cotton, but it is made of a waterproof material. Sewn to it is a thin layer of fleece that will be in contact with the baby's skin. In between there is some space where you can put some absorbent material - hence the name "pocket diapers". because the fleece is non-absorbent, the skin of the baby remains completely dry, like in a disposable, for the joy of babies and especially parents. Usually we put a flat diaper inside, but now we also got some "inserts" of other materials like microfiber, which absorb more and take less space. This is very good for the night, because with a couple of such inserts there is usually no need to change the diaper until morning - unless things happen that require immediate attention. To your left, little one again in his sage green Happy Heinys pocket diaper. It's a size medium, so it still looks a bit big on him.
  
  
• AIO (All In One). These are exactly like disposables, except they are reusable. We haven't tried them because we are in love (as a parent you develop strong emotions towards diapers) with pocket diapers.

And last but not necessarily more expensive...

• One size. As for disposables, usually you need to pick diapers of the right size for your baby. However, almost all the kind of diapers listed above are also available in one size versions, which have snaps and things that allow to make them smaller or bigger to fit the baby from one or two months of age until the moment of freedom from diapers. We especially like one size pocket diapers, although we do have a few one size fitted bamboo diapers (read here to know why using bamboo is going to save the world).
  

Now just a few words about covers. There are essentially two kinds:

• PUL (polyurethane laminate). This is a synthetic material, but it is breathable. As opposed to PVC "plastic pants", for example, which don't sound very comfortable and are not very commonly used nowadays. Some PUL covers are very basic and only moderately containing (in which case in the first months they are better paired with a very containing fitted diaper), but some more elaborate models have double leg gussets (like disposables) and are very efficient even for use with a simple flat diaper. No pins are required in this case, by the way. In the picture we have our little CK wearing a flat diaper covered by our trusted Imse Vimse Soft Cover.
  
  
• Fleece/Wool. It is a bit counterintuitive perhaps, but these material make the most leak-proof covers. And supposedly the most comfortable, because they are very soft. They are quite bulky, though, so they are recommended for night time use. I had bought a couple, but I haven't had any need for them yet. I think they probably become more useful with older babies that can wet through as many layers of diapers as you can think of wrapping around them. Apparently a pocket diaper with enough stuffing and one of these covers is the best choice in that case, but as I said, I wouldn't really know from personal experience yet.
  

Enough for the moment. I hope that the pictures of little one hanging in front of the webcam made it tolerable to read all this stuff. I will leave our personal diaper experiences for another post.

Just a few links in case you are really interested in using cloth diapers:
Diaper Pin - A website with useful reviews of cloth diapers and related products, lists of (mostly US) stores and advice.
Diaper Hyena - Another website dedicated to cloth diapers: the articles are especially well researched, nice to read for reasonably scientifically minded people
Jillian's Drawers - This is a nice online store (one of the many, but one that
I like). Apart from actually buying diapers, there is nice - and honest it seems - advice about what diapers are best for what kind of use.
For Shalini: a couple of online diaper stores that I could find that ship from your part of the world:
http://www.mamut.com/stellerommet, http://www.kenguruloftet.no/.

Foto di oggi

Sempre con la webcam, purtroppo.

Musical preferences

When we went to Calicut last time we bought a CD of Malayalam songs and poetry for children. In fact I am quite proud to say that I picked it myself, with my amazing shopping instinct that breaks through the barriers of language... Anyway, it seemed like a good thing to try, since we are always looking for tools to help in the task of raising our child trilingual.


The CD is very well made: it has both religious and non-religious songs, sung by a variety of different voices and you can choose if you prefer to display predominantly on the screen the lyrics or some simple animations that illustrate each song.

Once as we were playing the songs for Rajiv we noticed that he was looking at the drawings on the screen, so we put him on his tummy facing the screen - both baby and laptop on the bed - and he stayed there silently for a long time staring carefully (now maybe I am reading to much into his little focused expression...) at the figures that appeared as different songs were played.

He was quiet until we played what S. tells me is a lullaby. This is accompanied by pictures of a mother with a child and our own little one started trying to reach for the figures on the screen, pushing with his legs behind him and making cute enthusiastic noises. I think that maybe it's because he likes looking at faces, or maybe he can tell it is the picture of a baby? Or maybe he just likes the song?

Cloth diapers (part I)

***Warning: this is the first of an unusually boring series of posts***

As many of you already know, we have made the brave decision to try and use cloth diapers for the little one. We have used only disposables for the first month - thinking that it would be unwise to create more work for ourselves at that point - but now we have gradually shifted to using almost exclusively cloth.

My mother initially was very doubtful when I told her about my plans, but it is widely accepted in my family that my brain does not function in the usual way, so she didn't put too much effort into trying to make me see reason. I had similar reactions from other people and I confess that I avoided mentioning it to some of my friends because by then I was feeling a slight sense of embarassement.

Here in India it is different, because lots of people use disposable diapers only when they are away from home. In fact more than once we have been gently reproached by people - including the lady who cleans the house and a few complete strangers - when we have been caught using disposables. On the other hand, when we do use cloth diapers, we sometimes meet a little bit of diffidence nevertheless, because those that we use don't always look like the good old-fashioned nappies that everybody knows and loves. More about this later.

(As an aside, one of S.'s collegues has commented when we mentioned we that we needed to change Rajiv's cloth nappie: "Why do you need nappies at all? This is India!". Now if anybody can explain this to me I will be grateful... )

At the same time, our struggle to find the right diapering strategy to preserve our sanity has gone on without rest. So since it is such a central issue in our life with the little one, it seems to be worth writing about it. Also, recently somebody has asked us to share some of the information we have collected about modern cloth diapers, so I have decided that for lack of anything better to post at the moment (camera still giving troubles, so no cute pictures available...) I will dedicate a few posts to cloth diapers and our experience with them so far.

TO BE CONTINUED...

From the webcam

This is is a picture of Rajiv from a couple of days ago. Sorry for the low quality, but as I mentioned I am having troubles with my camera, so this was taken with the webcam.


Questo e' Rajiv un paio di giorni fa, seduto di fronte al computer con il suo papa'. La foto e' stata scattata con la webcam, quindi la qualita' e' non e' molto alta. Purtroppo sto avendo qualche problema a far comunicare la mia macchina fotografica con il computer, ma spero di potervi mostrare presto quelche foto un po' piu' nitida.

Canzoncine e filastrocche

Ho trovato un sito che sembra molto carino, con un sacco di testi di canzoni per bambini e altre cose che non ho ancora esplorato per bene. Oggi per esempio io e Rajiv abbiamo cantato "Papaveri e Papere":

"Lo sai che i papapaveri son alti alti alti..."

Fa tutto parte del piano per far ascoltare un po' di italiano a Rajiv, nella speranza che lo impari.

Nota per Emiliano: ho anche trovato il testo di "Un milione, due milioni, tre milioni di anni fa...", cosi' finalmente so come fanno le altre due strofe!

Sorry, technical problems

I'm having problems with my camera, I don't seem to be able to transfer the pictures to my laptop. This is the main reason why I haven't updated the blog for some time. It's too bad, because I had some really nice pictures that I wanted to share, but those will come eventually. For the moment, I will have to find some other way of showing you little one's irresistible smile... Not now though, because I'm holding a sleeping baby and typing with my left hand only, which turns out to be pretty uncomfortable, so I will stop for the moment.